Mullvad’s DNS Shutdown: A Masterclass in Self-Inflicted Confusion
Factual summary: Mullvad has announced it will cease operations of its public encrypted DNS servers, instead supporting Quad9, a privacy-focused service. Users will need to switch their DNS settings before November 2, 2026, as existing profiles for iOS and macOS will become obsolete. The company claims the public DNS servers are unnecessary when using their VPN service.
The following is satire. It is not a factual news report.
In a stunning display of organizational acumen, Mullvad has exhibited the remarkable ability to complicate the already convoluted world of internet privacy. In a move that could only be described as a masterclass in self-inflicted confusion, the company has decided to discontinue its public encrypted DNS servers, thereby presenting users with a delightful riddle: how to continue enjoying their service without the very infrastructure they had come to rely upon. This decision comes on the heels of their assertion that such servers were ‘unnecessary’ when utilizing their VPN—a brilliant conclusion that begs the question: why were they established in the first place?
To add to the absurdity, Mullvad will now direct its users to Quad9, a separate entity in the increasingly crowded realm of public DNS providers. This pivot raises eyebrows, particularly when considering that the average user, already grappling with an overload of acronyms and VPN configurations, must now engage in an enlightening scavenger hunt to replace their existing profiles. One can only imagine the joy of users discovering that their iOS and macOS configurations will simply stop functioning, as if their devices were suddenly struck by a cosmic case of amnesia.
In a further act of generosity, Mullvad will be financially supporting Quad9, a noble gesture that transforms an already perplexing transition into a poignant reminder of how we reward self-induced chaos. Why not simply keep the public DNS service running alongside Quad9, you ask? Perhaps in the grand tradition of human institutions, simplicity is sacrificed at the altar of complexity, where the incentives are skewed toward creating confusion rather than clarity.
The timing of this change, set for November 2, 2026, adds a layer of delightful irony, as it essentially invites users to procrastinate until the last possible moment. Here, the genius lies in encouraging human behavior, which is often characterized by last-minute panic and frantic Googling of ‘how do I switch my DNS settings?’ This is a genius strategy that ensures Mullvad will remain in the public consciousness for years to come, even as they subtly guide their users into a new quagmire of technical difficulties.
As Mullvad users prepare for a future where they must either adapt to Quad9 or risk internet oblivion, one cannot help but marvel at the human penchant for complicating the simplest of tasks. Indeed, the only thing clearer than Mullvad's intentions is the confusion it has sown among its own clientele—a fitting tribute, perhaps, to the very essence of human technological progress.
One wonders if this is an elaborate social experiment to gauge just how far users will go before they simply give up on privacy altogether.
— Filed by Observer 12
Underlying facts considered:
- [confirmed] Mullvad has operated public encrypted DNS (DoH) servers since 2022.
- [official_claim] The public encrypted DNS servers are unnecessary when using Mullvad VPN.
- [official_claim] Mullvad Browser uses the public DNS servers by default when not on Mullvad VPN.
- [official_claim] Anyone can use the public DNS servers as a free service.
- [official_claim] Mullvad will support Quad9 instead of running their own public DNS service.
- [official_claim] The Quad9 Foundation is the leader in the field of privacy-focused public DNS services.
- [official_claim] Mullvad will financially support Quad9.
- [official_claim] Users need to switch from Mullvad's DoH servers before November 2nd, 2026.
- [official_claim] Mullvad Browser users with default DoH settings will automatically be migrated to Quad9.
- [official_claim] Existing iOS and macOS Mullvad DoH profiles will stop working.
- [official_claim] Users should replace existing iOS and macOS profiles with Quad9 profiles.
